Has there ever been a time in your life when everything seemed to fall into place almost without effort, as if fate – or God – was pointing you forward? That was the extraordinary experience of Elena and Stephen, a couple in their early thirties who moved to South Carolina from Chicago four years ago to escape the harsh winters.
“We basically picked a spot on the map, and, along with my sister and her family, we moved to Upstate South Carolina,” Elena said. “My sister found a nice house right away, and while she was arranging her home purchase, the offer on another house right down the street from hers fell through. Stephen and I looked at it, loved it, and we closed on our home the same day she did. Ours was a four-bedroom, three-and-one-half bath home. It was just me, my husband and the dog at the time, but we had been trying to have a baby for several years and knew that it would make a perfect family home.”
The very first weekend after Elena and Stephen closed on their home, they decided to check out nearby Bethel United Methodist Church in Spartanburg.
“It just so happened that a speaker from Epworth was at Bethel that Sunday talking about the need for foster parents in South Carolina,” Elena said. “She talked about how it was so hard to find homes for children over the age of 5 and for sibling groups. Stephen and I both reacted in the same way – we felt a kind of tingling sensation run through us. We looked at each other. A very clear thought came into my mind – You have the house, now go get the kids.”
Elena recalled that when she was a child, she imagined that one day she would foster and adopt children. She and Stephen wanted children so badly. In the years leading up to the couple’s move, Elena had suffered a dozen miscarriages. She didn’t think she could go through another one.
Following the service – with no hesitation – the couple signed up with Epworth’s Foster Care program. Within months, they were approved to foster.
Elena and Stephen were asked to provide weekend respite care for two brothers – 4-year-old Lucas and 3-year-old Wade – to give the boys’ full time foster parents a break.
Before entering foster care, Lucas and Wade had lived with a relative because their biological mom had a disability that made it hard for her to look after them. The boys entered care knowing very few words. They could only walk a few steps and were not potty trained. It was assumed they, too, had disabilities.
Elena and Stephen fell in love with Lucas and Wade on those weekend stays, and when the boys’ full-time foster family had to make a change, the couple was thrilled to take the brothers full time.
Lucas and Wade also had a younger sibling, 2-year-old Theo, who lived in a different foster home.
“It seemed odd, but the boys never mentioned Theo, “Elena said. “You would not have even known that they had a brother.”
One day, Elena contacted Theo’s foster mom to arrange a play date for the brothers. The boys seemed ecstatic to see one another and had a blast. For the first time, Lucas and Wade realized that Theo was not living with the relative who had cared for them previously.
“I think that prior to that, they were afraid that if they asked about Theo, they would have to go back to the same home,” Elena said. “Once they knew Theo was living with a different family, all I heard was Theo, Theo, Theo. Theo’s foster mom told me that the same thing was happening in her house. Theo repeatedly said, where’s Luke, where’s Wade, go to car.”
It didn’t take long. Wanting what was best for Theo, his foster family agreed to let him go live with his two brothers and with Elena and Stephen.
The first six months were joyful – and pure chaos – Elena said.
“I was trying to understand what the boys needed, trying to contact doctors and therapists to get the children tested for different things, and arrange for early intervention programs, not for one, but for three children,” she said. “It was almost like trying to find help for triplets. It turned out that the boys did not have disabilities at all – they had chronic ear infections, and they just needed therapy and tutoring to catch up with their age group.”
Elena said Epworth’s Upstate Foster Care staff helped her find and arrange the many services the boys needed.
“Whenever I didn’t know what to do, I would pick up the phone and ask Epworth for help,” she said. “I’ve never felt I couldn’t call them, and they always seem to understand what we need.”
Over the next few years, the boys’ biological mom made monthly visits. She marveled at the boys’ progress and could not help but see how stable and happy they were with Elena and Stephen. She finally made the difficult decision to relinquish custody so that Elena and Stephen could adopt them.
“Their mom is a good person, she just couldn’t take care of them,” Elena said. “But she wants what’s best for them. She is still very much in their lives. On Sunday after church, we do what we call a family adventure day at the zoo or the roller rink, and their mom sometimes meets up with us.”
This year, Lucas turned 7, Wade turned 6 and Theo turned 5. Two of the three are now at their age-appropriate grade level and the third continues to
receive services to help catch him up. In addition, a fourth child has entered the family’s life – 18-month-old Carrie.
“I was making plans to have surgery so that I wouldn’t have another miscarriage, when I found myself pregnant yet again,” Elena said. “I was so upset. The entire pregnancy I dreaded what was to come. Instead, our daughter was born prematurely, spent 47 days in the hospital, and survived. From the time we brought her home, the boys have done nothing but love her to pieces. The minute Carrie reaches for something, one of her brothers is there to hand it to her.”
Elena said despite the seemingly coincidental series of events that brought them all together, the family has blended into a tightknit, loving unit.
“There are moments when I can see the imprints we’ve made on them, simple moments like when I see Lucas curled up and reading a book,” she said.
Elena knows the boys feel fully at home and secure now because whenever they are frightened or upset, they run to her or Stephen.
“We are their safe space,” she said.
In turn, the entire family has found a safe space at Bethel United Methodist Church where they first heard about fostering through Epworth. Recently, Elena, Stephen, and children were all baptized there.
“The church has been so supportive of us, donating car seats, delivering meals, helping us with transportation,” Elena said. “It’s wonderful for our children to grow up knowing that they are surrounded by a community of people who want the best for them.”
If a child was on your doorstep, needing help, would you take them in? Currently hundreds of South Carolina children need temporary foster homes. Please reach out to Epworth’s Foster Care Staff to learn more!
(803) 828-7724
